2025 February Bible Reading Plan

Wow the year is already moving. Hello February the month we all know as the month of LOVE or chocolates and roses. I don’t know about anyone else, but I grew up questioning if I was truly loved and as an adult as well.

I believed the lies and suffered plots of the enemy since I was very young. See, I was raised by a single mom who was always gone working and I assume trying to heal from her own traumatic past however she knew best to. I watched my dad walk in and out of our life also I assume dealing with his trauma but leaving my mom with all the responsibility in raising the kids they made together. Sometimes he was gone completely without contact for years. Without my parents together that meant I wasn’t protected & often left with whoever was available to watch me for my mom when not in school or day cares which led to me being exposed to people who sexually abused me & eventually causing me to feel extremely alone & fighting dark thoughts for years. Some of the people who abused me were family members and close family friends whom I thought I was safe around. 

My mom did the best she could & even dated probably hoping to build a new family unit for us but those men were never loyal either or free to commit which meant they couldn’t commit to being a father figure my younger self needed then they were also gone like my dad. I learned growing up that my dad was caught up with another life which was unsafe and he had a whole other family before us. The loneliness & trauma followed from childhood through my adulthood. Life was hard being raised by a single mom. Since she had to work all the time and did not have much help, she was often frustrated and would get mad at me when I didn’t clean up or if I was disrespectful. She didn’t physically or verbally teach me how she wanted me to be or how a young girl should behave because she didn’t have the time or patience to teach me much of anything & as a mom now myself I get it, your just burnt out. She was doing a job meant for 2 not 1. She was a single mom of 3 kids and I’m a married mom of 4 kids and it is not easy raising kids even with both parents present but back then I didn’t understand why she would get mad at me or wasn’t available. I always thought she must not love me & neither does my dad because he hasn’t looked for me or shown up for me when I needed protection or to see a familiar face in the crowd for my events I was in. My parents missed out on the majority of my school activities. Other parents, were cheering their kids on & I was wondering why can’t I have that. Why don’t I have that love.

Don’t get me wrong my mom gave me the best life she could & I’m grateful that she didn’t abandon me yet the actions of both my parents had me longing for attention & love. As a parent now and knowing a bit of truth to their own experiences, I have grace & understanding towards both my parents. I understand now of their choices and ways but when I was little I did not comphrend and the enemy had his way. Because Christ wasn't a priority in our lives back then, there was no discenment and the child abandonment and abuse led me to live reckless through my teen years & young adult life. Still being sexually abused & exposed to things I shouldn’t have. I was taken advantage of & still no one to defend me or warn me of harmful people. I became pregnant with my first born at 18 & had her out of wedlock. He betrayed me, physically hurt me, and I continued to deal with narcissistic people and engaged in things that left me lonelier & questioning why I wasn’t given the same love back that I gave out. 

Eventually I got to a place where I couldn’t trust & didn’t want to trust anyone. I didn't even love myself and I was alone living in complete darkness fighting to give my first born a life better than mine but also fighting not to end my life. The enemy was again trying to steal, kill, and destroy more souls. I felt so unloved. I thought & felt that all my life I must’ve been the problem since people walked out of my life since I was a baby & I wasn’t good enough for unconditional love until I ran into the unconditional love of Jesus! When I began to seek God & have encounters with the Holy Spirit, I started to learn what true love is. His unconditional love immediately covered all the pain of loneliness, betrayal, and feeling unloved. I searched His word for His love & began to heal. I now find my worth & acceptance in Him. I don’t look to people to love me in such a way that only my Creator can. It has been such a gift for me in the healing process to know & have experienced the unconditional love of God because let me tell you even as an adult there will be times people still do things knowingly or unknowingly that hurt and can leave you questioning your worth especially when it’s your own family or people you thought were your friend.

With all that being said this month's theme is ”God’s Unconditional Love.” If you feel unloved & don’t have a valentine, don’t worry Jesus is your valentine sis & I have merch for you too! Look up, “Jesus is my Valentine” in my Valentine’s collection❤️) My hope & prayer this month is that someone who decides to jump in the SLM February plan learns about God’s unconditional love for all of us and doesn’t need to seek validation from anyone again. Let go of the expectation for others to love us unconditionally and genuinely because none of us are God and we will fail one another. But if we focus on the way God loves, we begin to love others better and work at being intentional to pursue when someone is genuine to us while also learning to love ourselves to recognize when someone isn’t healthy for us. People may do unloving things but that doesn’t mean that we are unloved by God. His love is good. His love is deep. He love pursues & that love is only found in God our Father & our Savior Jesus Christ.🙌

Thank you for taking the time to read a little bit of my testimony & how I now know & have the unconditional love of God in my life. Please share this blog post link or the Bible plan post for February to your timelines. You never know who may need hope today or the days to come. I also invite you who join this month’s Bible reading plan to leave feedback in the comment section & what revelations you receive! I pray that we continue go deeper with God, experience His love in a new way, breakthrough any walls that need to come down, & keep God as our First Love. He is so worth our devotion.